The laws of physics,what'er they !
by fox-firechick
Summary: A funny story where the laws of physics arn't even an issue! See zany-ness at it's best! Chap 5 up!
1. The laws of physics take a holiday

Chapter 1

"Hello,i'm home",Yukie Sohma called,putting down his bookbag in the kitchen.

"Ah..Yukie,your back I see",Shigure said walking into the kitchen to join his cousian.

"You moron,I just said that I was home,where have you been?",Yukie remarked.

"Yukie,why must you be so cold,I was mearly surprised that you were home seeing as Tohru

hasn't gotten back yet",Shigure Sohma replied,fake shivering.

"Hm,Miss.Hondas not back yet",Yukie repeated questioningly.

"No,I thought she was with you,does she have work today or something?"

"No,but she was called to the office for cheak out if you suppose that has anything to do with where she is",Yukie said.

"Of corse,that's it,Haa-san called earlier asking for the number of her school,he must have taken her out early for her physical or something",Shigure decided in his know-it-all,voice.

"Uuuuuuh,you are such a moron,you know that",Yukie said rather annoyed as he left the room.

"Hehehe",Shigure snickerd as he walked back upstairs to his room.

As he enterd the clutterd writing studio,he was bombarded by his spastic editor.

"Shigure!!!,where have you been?!!!! I need the last 500 pages of your manuscript by tomorrow, where have you been slacking off to?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Meea,what are you doing here? this is quite a surprise",Shigure replied calmley.

"And you call me iresponsiable,if your going to slack off you should get offa my back when I do",Kyo yelled from the hall,"I sent her in here to get'er offa the porch".

"Kyoo",Shigure whimperd pathetically,"Why'd you have to ruin my fun?Your as dull as Hatori"

"You call tormenti'n people fun!!Damn your screwed up!!!!!"

With that Kyo continued down the hall to his room.He could still hear Meea's tormented exclamations as he closed the door behind him.

"Hello",came a voice from downstairs as the front door opened for the second time in this story.

"Is anyone home?",asked the mild mannerd voice from downstairs.

The three Sohmas exited their rooms and went into the living room to see who was there.Clumsy Kyo however,tripped over the the last set of quotations,bringing everyone down in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

Hatori looked at the pile of morons at his feet.

"Nice work you stupid cat",Yukie shot sarcastically.

"Oh yeah you damn rat well don't make me come over there and hit you with your own period!"

"You stupid cat,your on top of me,how can you come over and hit me when were in the same place?"

"Yukie,Kyo",Shigure sighed.

"Will both of you shut up,and Kyo,drop it with the puncuations,were not even supposed to be able to see them",Hatori remarked.

The three people gatherd themselves up off of the floor.

"Well,I don't belive you came here just to settle this argument,considering that you were the cause of it,calling all of us down here at the same time",Shigure accused,"so why are you here?"

Hatori glared at him,giving him a look of pure hatred before answering.

"I was mearly takeing Tohru back,and didn't want to leave her here by herself",he replied.

"Miss.Honda is with you?",Yuki said questiongly,looking for the girl.

"Yes',Hatori confirmed,takeing a step to the left,to reveal Tohru Honda,eyes brimming with tears.

"Miss.Honda,whats wrong?",Yukie asked soothingly,going over to her side.

"I failed a test!!!!!",she cried,dropping to her knees.

"Hm,you failed a test?,Miss Honda,what exactly were you doing?",Yuki asked her.

"I...I",she stammerd.

"Yes,what is it?",Yuki pressed.

"I mearly gave her her physical and a check up",Hatori replied,answering for her.

"Then what the hell test did she fail?",Kyo asked.

"It was a blood test",Hatori sighed.

"She failed a..Blood test",Yuki repeated,unsure about what Haa-san had just said.

"How the heak do you fail a blood test?",Kyo asked,lookin at he oquardley.

"I have no clue",Hatori sighed.

"Now thats a shocker,seeing as your the smart one",Shigure exclaimed!

"He-hmm",Yukie sleared his throat.

"Yuki,you can't possiably be offended just by that",Shigure asked.

He walked over to the couch and joined Hatori in sitting on it.

"No.i'm just wondering what exactly your trying to imply?

"Nothing,I mearly ment that Ha-saan is the smartest person here",Shigure replied a casualy as before.

"That would be implying something",Yukie stated.

"Um..Yukie",Tohru stammerd for the first time in a while.

"Hm.what is it Miss.Honda",he asked as calmly as he had been before Hatori showed up.

"I think what Shigure was saying,was mearly that Hatori was the smartest,because he's older than you and has had the chance to learn more",Tohru replied,wearing a smile bigger than the Golden Gate Bridge.She seemed so happy that she was able to figure out that much.In all actualaty,Shigure was trying to tick Yuki off for no apparent reason,makeing Tohru's theory compleatly wrong.

Shigure looked at her in all of her wrongness,still with that huge smile on her face.

"Yep,thats it compleatly",He agreed,smiling to match her.

"No it's not",Hatori,the party pooper,sighed,"you just like to pick on Yuki".

"Then i'm wrong,again",Tohru whimperd.

"yes",Hatori replied.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Why don't you go tell your problems to the dust bunnies under Kyo's bed",Hatori suggested.

"What!",Tohru schreeched,"There are dust bunnies under Kyo's bed,there can't be dust bunnies!".

Grabbing a broom,she ran upstairs to Kyo's room,leaving her saddness behind in a puddle on the floor.The puddle was blue.The puddle was whimpering,so Yuki stepped on it.The blue puddle then swallowed him up never to be seen again,trapping him in a small room,painted all black,with Akito's voice singing "Oops i did it again",by Brittney Spears very baddly.

Well,no,not really,but can you imagine if that really happened! that would be sooooooo funny!!!

foxfirechick120 : owwww

Yuki: never do thet again

foxfirechick120:why not,they liked it,didn't you ppl?

Yuki lovers:NOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Yuki haters (ha,like there are any,even I don't hate yuki): Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!

Yuki:shut up,all of you!!

(Yuki's eyes glow purple)

ppl:yes master Yuki

foxfirechick120:hey ppl,whos side are you on anyways?It was just for fun like i said before.and besides,i'm the writer and if I want Yuki trapped in a blue puddle with Akito singing pop song thats just what i'll get.GOT THAT????

Hatori:just get back to the story already,and give me some new shoes and some tea.

foxfirechick120:Tea,ok,but why new shoes?

Hatori:Because these are killing me,and I want Chamomile tea.

foxfirechick120: Too bad you get herbal tea and I don't want any lip from you or I will turn you into a peanut!!!!!!!

Hatori:"Hmm.oooookay"

foxfirechick120:good,now that we have that settleed,I can get back to my story.

Hatori:it's our story,you just write it.

foxfirechick120:Then that makes it my story peanut boy!!!!!!!!

Hatori:(gulp)

foxfirechick120:There,now I won't have any disturbences while I write....... good,no response from the peanut gallary,literally.HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways,Yuki wasn't sucked down into a puddle.There wasn't any puddle.Tohru had just took of to clean up the mess in Kyo's room,but miracously forgot what she was doing,and ran downstairs to make some herbal tea.

"This is new",Hatori said,sitting on the couch.He kind had to sit,seeing as a peanut cant realy do that much.

"Ha-saan,theres something diffrent about you",Shigure stated,eyeing him quizmatically.

foxfirechick120:hey Shigure,your the novelist here,is quizmatically a word?HEY,DON'T IGNORE ME!! DANG YOUR DENSE,YUKI EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPEND TO HATORI SO HE'LL ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO,DON'T YOU IGNORE ME TOO!!!IS THIS ABOUT THE PUDDLE THING??? IT WAS JUST A JOKE!!!

Yuki:shut up and continue the story.

foxfirechick120: o alright you spoiled little prince.

He's a peanut,do you really have to look that hard to see that?",Yuki asked,worridly.

"oh now I see it,Ha-saan,you lost weight!!!!",Shigure exclaimed.

"your so stupid",Yuki sighed.


	2. And the stupidity grows !

Chapter 2

"Hello,I brought cookies!",exclaimed an overly happy voice from the living room,which no bady but Hatori was in.

"Ayame,what are you doing here?",he asked.

"Haa-san OMG! have you lost weight?",Ayame asked,eyeing Hatori cautiously.

"N-yes aya",he sighed,admitting defeat.

"Ayame",Tohru exclaimed,looking around the corner into the living room,"is that you,OMG,Hatori you,you,look so tasty!"

"Oh my god?",Hatori sighed,looking at his fat shell.

"princess Tohru,so great to see you!dosn't Hatori looks great dosn't he?",Ayame announced!

"Aya!",Shigure exclaimed,I was just saying that,and boreing old Yuki thinks that Hatori is a peanut!".

"What the hell,why is Hatori a peanut?",Kyo yelled from walking past the door to the living room,"And ,oh god,what is that bastard doing here?".

"Kyo,don't be rude,anyways Ayame is always welcome in my house",Shigure beamed.

"Yes",Shigure(perv 1) and Ayame( perv 2 ) agreed,holding their thumbs up to indicate their gay,in -family,relationship with each other!

"Oh No",Yuki sighed,looking at his brother.

"Yuki,why I can't belive your here too,well yes I can,but for once thats not why I came!",Ayame announced proudly.

"Oh,realy,well why are you here the",Tohru asked in her bubbly-sweet voice.

"Uhh,can someone lift he peanut out of here?",Hatori asked,"This is makeing me sick.

"Oh ok corse Hatori",Tohru said rushing over to lift the pocket sized Hatori offa the couch.dropping him into her front pocket of her shirt,he started blushing like mad,which was surprising considering that he was a doctor,but blus the peanut did.

foxfirechick120:why was hatori blushing you aske me,well...

somebody:nobody asked that!

foxfirechick120:well in that case,I suppose you know why he is blushing then?

somebody:no not really

foxfirechick120:well then you want to know?

somebody:not,I don't realy care?

foxfirechick120:( evil glare).....YOU DO WANNA KNO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

somebody: y-y-y,yes ma'am

foxfirechick120:well,The peanut dude,who is faceing the cruel fate I decided for him,is blushing because we all know what part of her body her pocket is on!!!!!

Hatori:i don't apperciate this very much !

foxfirechick120:you again?,didn't you learn your lesson last time? do you wanna dissaper compleatly?

Hatori:that'ed be better than this!

foxfirechick120: Well too bad!!!!!you can't dissapere until you fall through the cushions of the couch,or get lost at the grocerie store!!!!!!!!!!!

Hatori:you wouldn't do that!

foxfirechick120:you wanna bet? ( evil grin )

Hatori: gulp !

HEY PPL! THIS IS FOXFIRECHICK120 HERE,4 ONCE NOT BOTHERING TO ARGUE WITH A CHARACHTER ,AS THIS IS KINDA IN THE PAST! OR IS IT???

WELL I JUST CAME 2 APOLOGIZE TO ALL THOSE HATORI FANS OUT THERE,AND OF CORSE TO THE AYAME......WELL NOT TO THE AYAME FANS!SHIGURE FANS EITHER!!!! IF YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH TO LIKE THESE HOMOS,THEN YOU DESERVE THE TORMENT OF THERE BASHING!!!!!!!

WELL,MABY MY NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LONGER.

LATER...PS,TO ALL YOU KIKYO BASHERS,CONGRATS,YOU HAVE A FAN I HATE KIKYO TOO.BUT THIS IS THE WRONG ANIME ANYWAYS,BUT MAY YOU LIVE LONG AND PROSPHER,ALL YOU KIKYO (FROM INUYASHA) BASHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Akito's torment !

Chapter 3

Hatori:put me in her pants pocket

foxfirechick120 : OMG..and you wanna say your not a pervert! whatter you gettin at?first you get the boobs,then ya wanna go for the ass !

Hatori :you are very sick!!

foxfirechick120 : thanks !!!

Tohru looked at Hatori who was blushing madly.

"Hatori,is there a problem",she asked,looking at the red peanut in her front pocket.

"No,there is just something wrong with our writer",Hatori......

foxfirechick120:HEY !!!!!!!!!!!!

Hatori:nah nah !!

foxfirechick120:Do you realy want Akito brought into this !

Hatori :Akito isn't even here?

(Akito poofs in outta nowhere )

foxfirechick120: He is now,now do you want me to fill him in ?

Hatori :No,I'm good

"Hatori?",Yuki asked,"is someone else here?"

(A/N just F.Y.I Shigure,Ayame,Yuki,Kyo,Hatori, and Tohru,are the only ones in this story so far but more will come )

Akito:Yuki,you look well,why haven't you stopped by yet?

"Akito",Yuki exclaimed.

"At a loss for words",Akito asked,"muah-ha-ha",he laughed wickedly.

"Whats with the laugh?",asked Yuki asked?

foxfirechick120:makes him sound as evil as he realy is .

Yuki:It makes him sound more stupid!

foxfirechick120:too much?

Yuki:yes.

Anyways,Akito was laughing evily,but stopped when he noticed that he was in a my little pony diaper.He was topless,(AHHHHHHHH,SHEILD UR EYES!!!!!),and had no hair.He was also rather shocked to find that he was 1 foot tall with a binkey,and yes I did say binky!

"What the hell!",he screamed,"What did you do to me you damn woman!"!

foxfirechick120:I turned you into a baby cause I don't like you.

Hatori:What is going on out there?,I cant see through her shirt! Oh god that sounded wrong!

Ayame:Hatori?,you dissapered,but I will tell your air,that Akito was brought in as a threat to Hatori,but when he started threatning Yuki,he was turned into a baby.

Kyo:What the hell is going on here",he asked,looking dazed and confused as always.

"I just explained that,but what I can't explain is why he is continously babbling in that baby dribble?",Ayame asked.

Akito:Baby dribble! What baby dribble?,That's not what I call respect!

"There he goes again",Shigure,who was now joining the crowd.

Akito:what is it with this baby dribble crap? I'l show you baby dribble,I'l show all of you Fers! hahahahahahahahaha

"What the,now this is a first,I just go flipped off by some brat in a my little pony diaper!!!",Kyo exclaimed,returning the sign.

Akito:What the fck!,I know he didn't just flip me off,and where the hell are they getting this baby dribble and disrespect?

foxfirechick120:wanna explanation?

Akito:of course I do you baka moron! Now bow to my tiny toes!!!!!

foxfirechick120:No way you evil bastard!I aint takin orders from anyone with his baby fat.Anyways, the thing is ,you ticked me off by tormenting Yukie,and I just plain don't like you,so I turned you into a baby and nobody but me can understand you ,so if you want me to translate for you you berrer be nice to me!

Akito:Feh

foxfirechick120:dude,wrong show,FEH is Inuyasha's line,and as Inu's biggest fan,I don't want some little brat takeing his lines got that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akito: whisper (Bitch)

foxfirechick120:I heard that!

(snaps fingers)

Akito:augh,you made me shit myself!!!!!

foxfirechick120:yep,and good luck finding anyone to change your diaper! mua hahahahahaha

HEY,SORRY MY CHAPTERS ARE SO SHORT,AND I AM SORRY IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY CHATS WITH THE CHARACHTERS AND I DUNNO WHY I AM APOLOGIZING OR WHAT FOR!PROBABLY CAUSE I WANT REVIEWS.I WANNA LOTTA THEM,BUT I DON'T WANT U TO TELL ME THINGS THAT ARN'T TRU,IF YOU HATE MY FIC I WANNA KNO THAT YOU HATE IT AND WHY.NO LIEING TO SPARE MY FEELINGS CAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNO ME ANYWAYS SO WHY DO YOU CARE HOW I FEEL?

OH,ONE LAST THING,IN YOUR REVIEWSS,COULD YOU PUT IF YOU LIKE KIKYO(FRUM INUYASHA) OR IF YOU DON'T CAUSE I JUST WANNA KNO.THANX! IF U DON'T WATCH INUYASHA THATS OK WITH ME THO !!!!!


	4. The recycling plant and a dinner guest !

Chapter 4

Shigure:Well I supose we can't just leave him there.

Kyo:Why not,he is still Akito right (somebody filled him in)

Ayame:Kyo,thats just proposterous.We can't leave a helpless infant in the middle of the living room floor! EXPECIALLY Akito !!!!!!

Yuki:For once I agree with that stupid cat ,lets just leave him here and go back into the kitchen!

Everyone:WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

foxfirechick120:( throws confetti ) WOW,YUKI ACTUALLY AGREES WITH KYO!!!!!!!

Yuki:Whats so surprising,did you actually belive that I would wanna help that bastard Akito?

Shigure;True,true.

Ayame:Hmph,well I simply won't stand for this,Akito or not he is still just a baby and needs our help.

Kyo:then why don't you help him???

Ayame:Because he stinks!!!

Yuki:Ugghh,your right.

Tohru:Oh I guess he needs to be changed,I got it.

Hatori:Don't I have a say in this,I want out of this pocket NOW !!!!

( Pause fic )

foxfirechick120:Ok,now it's just you and me baby boy!

( laughes evily )

Akito:And just what do you plan to do?

foxfirechick120:anything I want,and I am makeing the recyceling truck come take you away

Akito:Huh,you've gone crazy,what will the recyceling company do with a baby?!!!!

foxfirechick120:If I turn you into a soda bottle they will!

Akito:No I will not be a carbonated drink!!I refuse!Bow to me bitch bow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

foxfirechick120:Insults,thats what you give the person who controles your future?you are asking for it little mister!!you are going down......to the recyceling plant!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akito:No,I refuse,NoNoNONONO

( poof )

Tohru:he..he's a soda can?

Shigure:I'm guessing he did something to tick off the writer,who might I say is looking beautiful!!!!

foxfirechick120:Thanks for the complement Shigure,here's an apple,flattery will get you everywhere!

( apple poofs )

Shigure:Thanks !

Hatori:Get me out of this pocket!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru:Ok

Tohru picked hatori,or peanut boy up and sat him on her shoulder.

Hatori:Now what do we do with this bottle of soda?

Yuki:( glub, glub, glub,glub, ahhhh )

Yuki crunched up the empty can and threw it in the recycling bin just in time for Akito to be erased from the story.

Ayame:that'l work

Ayame shrugged,and sugested Tohru check on lunch.

Tohru:ok

But what bubble brained Tohru forgot,was that Hatori was on her shoulder,and he fell off.Luckly he was caught by Ayame,unluckly,that ment that he was now at the mercy of Ayame!!!!!

Hatori:HELP!!!

Ayame:Haa-san,don't be ridiculous,this'l be FUN !!

Shigure:Yes!!!

Ayame:I can take your measurments for a whole new line of clothes!!!

Hatori:Dear god save me!!

Kyo:hahahahaha

Yuki:I don't care what you do as long as it dosn't involve me!

Kagura:KYOOOOO

Kyo:Auughhhhhhhh!!!!!! where the hell did you come from ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

foxfirechick120:I poofed her here,we needed some new charachters!

( evil laugh )

Kyo:DAMN YOU !!!!!! AUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shigure:Kyo,we realy must do something about your mouth!

Yuki:Good day Kagura

Kagure:Hello Yuki,good day to you too,now lemme catch Kyo!

Yuki put out his foot,tripping Kyo and allowing Kagura to catch him.Kagura quickly snatched him up and began to pummel him!

Kagura:KYO WHERE WERE YOU I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU KNOW THAT!!!!!WHERE THE HEAK WERE YOU ?WERE YOU WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?!!SPILL DO YOU LOVE ME DO YOU HATE ME ?!!!!!!!!!!!TELL ME!!!!!!!

Kyo:AUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru:oh,we have another guest!Hi Kagura!

Kagura Planted a big kiss on Kyo's head.

Kagure:SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyo:AUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ACID!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kagura reluctently left Kyo's side and went to return Tohru's greeting.

Kagura:Hello Tohru!Is it ok if I stay for dinner?

Tohru:Of corse!I meen,it's ok with me if it's ok with everyone else 

Shigure & Yuki: It's alright with us,and Kyo dosn't have a say in the matter so it looks like your our dinner guest!

Kagura:Yea!!!!!,more time with my love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH BEING EVIL IS SO FUN.ANYWAYS,I AM AT A SERIOUS LACK OF REVIEWS HERE,SO IF YOU COULD JUST TELL UR FRIENDS TO TELL THEIR FRIENDS ABOUT MY STORY,THAD'ED BE REALLY GREAT! AND DON'T FORGET, IF YOU WATCH INUYASHA,PLEASE TELL ME IN YOUR REVIES IF YOU ARE A KIKYO HATER! I AM,I HATE HER GUTS.IF YOU ARE A KIKYO LOVER,PLEASE DON'T TELL ME.I WANNA LIKE MY READERS WHO WERE KIND ENOUGH TO REVIEW,AND IF YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LIKE KIKYO,I WILL HATE YOU FOOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. AUTHORS NOTE !

HEY PPL !!!!! SRY 4 MIXING UP THE CHAPTERS,BUT I GOT CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!

WELL,IF U'VE READ THIS FAR,I THANK YOU,AND BEG U TO E-MAIL ME OR REVIEW OR SOMETHING SO THAT I KNOW MY STORY IS APPRECIATED AND ENJOYED. I AM AT THE POINT NOW WHERE IF I DONT GET AT LEAST THREE REVIEWS AFTER I POST EACH NEW CHAPTER,I WON'T WRITE ANY MORE TILL I DO!!! DON'T WORRY,I WON'T WAIT TILL I GET LIKE 16 REVIEW FOR THE REVIEWLESS CHAPTERS/3AND UP/ I WILL JUST START NOW.ALL I WANT IS THREE CHAPTERS AND I WILL POST THE ACTUAL CHAPTER 5,AND THIS MESSAGE WILL DISSAPERE AND MAKE U ALL VERY HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!


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